Since you asked

I realized something
that my search for you
isn't so much a search for love
or a search for completion
it's a search for normalicy
comfort and protection
three things that have never been in my life
and I suppose I traced them to a man
because there's never really been one of those either
I have made a new resolve
and you are part of it
I will no longer look for protection
I have it in Christ
I will no longer search for normalicy
for it does not exist
and when I need comfort I will turn to the Father
the one I've never known
but has been there all along
and I trust that you will help me with this
however simple it may seem
I know not how to do it