TRAIN STATION

the silence is deafening
as I step out on this platform
alone yet again
as you have left me
with out a word
that's when the silence began
when you snuffed the flame
on the candle of our friendship
everyone here seems to be leaving
on a different train than me
all going away with each other
pushing me aside
for a new
a better friend
one that is all shiny and polished
and fits the mold of perfection
one that is predictable
and will only do as is told
will only love on command
and only as much as given room to
I will never be that person
but why does no one stay on my train
will I forever be the only one heading this direction
will you return for the trip home
or am I embarking on this journey
alone.

fgjdagkrguaile

Isn't this totally sweet. I mean I love green and I love what God can do...but look at it. This is amazing!

Insomnia

so tired
this floor is so cold
but not as cold as you
how do you do it
draw me in with your warmth
only to slap me with cold rejection
not a bitter cold
but the kind that creeps in
first shorts breezes of cold air
then
when all seems normal
all be it a little chilly
there is silence
complete and utter silence
the kind of which only ice ages can out do
and it comes from you off all people

the colours in this room are faded
they too remind me of you
does everything have to
is it not enough for you to plague my thoughts
in happiness
must you consume them with sorrow also
hasnt this gone far enough already?

I'll grab a blanket
and shut my eyes
the softness reminds me of your voice
as I drift into a land filled with you

Indulgencies

indulge me for a moment
just once
this time dont stop me
don't tell me I'm wrong
how will you know
if you never try
why are you so scared to be loved
you can be you know
I am living breathing proof
of that possibility
there you go again
thinking I want something

stop

listen

you are loved
that's all I wanted to say
all that I ever wanted you to know
I didn't mean to scare you off
and now I fear that I may have lost you
you got me
and now no one does
I hope it was worth it for you
I hope that you know what you're running from
how can you run so fast
blindly with your shoes untied
let me help you

The Un-named Hunter

standing still
all the greenery around me
*crunch*
there's a rustling behind my
I can feel the thud of my heart
hear the rushing of my blood past my ears
as my pulse quickens
and the chase begins
I've been waiting fo rthis for sometime now
watching others get chased
it looked like so much fun
they forgot to tell me bout
the terror
the vulnerability that consumes
and I am scared out of my mind
bounding from place to place
hiding from you and running
yet stopping long enough for you to
catch up
looking back to see if you are still there
pursuing me
surmounting every obsticle
my foot is caught in your trap
will you catch me?

Friday

Explosions of colour
each one the same
yet different
as they cascade down
this wall of indifference
I thought it would hurt more than this
but I feel almost nothing
as the light bursts forth
a change gives way
to a new found peace
one more than any I've had before
and I find myself wondering
is this colour a remnant of you
or a result of your swift departure from my life
I will not be bitter
like the darkness
that started this tragedy
I will not speak of it ever again
to anyone
all has been said that will ever be said
the colours are fading from
the room that was our friendship
it's sad really
I thought nothing could disturb them
yet life proved me wrong again
it splashed the thinnerof life
on the canvass of happiness
bitterness wil be replaced
by a hunger
a hunger to focus
on the colour
the colour that is brighter and more potent than before
as it splashes on this new page of my life
a new page
that i dare say
you might never see

Morning

the scent of dew
is so refreshing
this new face on life
shimmers in the coming dawn of day
what a wonderful thing
to love
a pure love
that does not change with scorn
but remains even after a storm
one that destroys all that was
and all that will be
yet the love remains
as strong as ever before
yet completely different
now a selflessness exists
I finally understood what He meant
when He told me to love
not out of selfish gain
isn't His light glorious
isn't it a wonderous thing to behold
and to be able to reflect
a single beam of this light
into anothers life
it feels as though my heart might burst
and imagine
it is not even full yet

Wednesday

Why does this happen
it used to be intentional
is it a subconcious thing now
an automatic reflex of destruction
somehow I manage to hurt
the one I don't want to
I used to do it on purpose
when I was afraid of feeling
but this time
I didn't see
I didn't notice
will you forgive me?
I can't bear the thought
the thought of you
not trusting me
will this be the final straw
will this forever block you from seeing
from seeing my love for you
the pain I feel when you are hurt
the utter turmoil in my soul
as I read your words
as I read that I hurt you
it was bad enough to hurt them
but I hurt you
and now my heart is in a million peices
will you pick them up?

Laundry

so what
a stain
it will fade
just as the others
can you still see the first one?
It's been there for years
depending on the light you
can't see any of them at all
today you inspired me
you know
to get a new shirt.

The Man

Did you stop to think
and wonder at the
nearly wonderous way that
in friends we can find
everlasting relationships that go beyond
love as the world sees it?

Just think for a minute
about how God orcestrates everyone we
meet and knows
everything we will ever
say to them

Could you imagine a love like that
lasting forever, through everything
and yet never expecting anything
reaching for holiness
kindness and so much more

Home sweet home

I walked in today
and called but like
so many times before
you were nowhere to be found
I try so hard to find you
I search every room of this broken down empty house
but you're not here
where did you go?
I guess the house isn't completely empty
there is a strange picture of a girl I used to know
she looks so familiar
yet just can see where you ift in with all of this
this house still smells of you
your pillow is still warm
but I've been here for months
waiting for you to come home
and you never do
where did you go
and why couldn't I come with you?

Fall

a leaf in the wind
people take for granted
that the leaf is there
that the wind behind it
is powering its every move
all the leaf can do is go
where the wind has blown it
up higher and higher
soaring through the sky
only to get plastered where a leaf shouldn't be
on a dark road somewhere
on a dirty old box
but every now and then
something magical happens
and the leaf gets blown by
someone who cares
someone who is still a romantic at heart
and they catch the beauty
pausing to drink it in
but not before they rescue
this tiny leaf
and take it home with them forever